Wednesday, December 9, 2009



Keeping with the theme: FALL ON YOUR KNEES, here is an article of mine from the our church newsletter called FIRST EDITION.

It is partly my testimony, so I thought it went well in the December chapter of THE HOLIDAY SERIES. It is quite long, but here it is in entirety.

It is not the easiest thing for me, being transparent, especially to brothers and sisters. Despite what I know, that Christians are not perfect people but forgiven children, I have a past. I would love to leave my past where it is, behind me; but there are others out there struggling with the same horrors I struggled with, and I feel a call to reach out to them. So I must be transparent every chance I get.

15 years ago, homeless, on my knees, and at the bottom of a rope I admitted to an addiction to crystal meth. My journey did not end there. I am among what they call cross addicted, so years later, I then came to admit I was an alcoholic. And today I can claim sobriety only one day at a time.

Nature vs. Nurture? I am not a theologian, a psychologist, or scientist, but I know that in the past I have had a strong tendency to search for relief and escape in substance.

In times of trouble I have ran to alcohol, drugs, and nicotine, but these are just the darkest of substances to which I have run. I have also turned to food, television, and work to fill a need.

In this great nation of ours there are many ways to escape the stress and trouble of life. And the sheer number of ways to avoid the pain, along with the ease and accessibility of them is overwhelming.

Many people had traumatic childhoods, but not all of these turned out to be drug addicts or drunks. Many human tragedies happen daily, just the unfair day to day events are enough to cripple us, why did I turn to drugs and alcohol? I have no idea. Was it because I was born with a predisposition? I don’t know. I do know that I thank the Lord for his deliverance before those substances drove me to an early grave or worse. I think hurting someone else in a drunken stupor would have been worse than death.

12 step programs were a catalyst for me. I did grow up in the Church, but after many years of the inability to follow some rules man had given me to follow in order to meet God on judgment day, I’d thrown religion out the window. The 12 steps led me back to Jesus Christ. Those steps were a bridge back to the loving arms of the lover of my soul who had waited and longed for me to see Him through my broken world. Those steps were also an enlightening process that God used to show me a way back home – to Him.

And now I have a passion to share this story, to hold up road signs to others, road signs pointing to a bridge that leads to Jesus. Many suffer from addiction. Addiction in many forms, relationships, working too much, gambling, etc. I even know women that cannot put romance novels down, reading until all hours of the morning, missing sleep and important dates all to read another book.

This is why groups like, Celebrate for Recovery, and FCC’s own His Path to Recovery are so important to me. The need out there is disturbing, the need not only to reach out to those who drink too much, but also the need to reach out to those in other dark cells of escapism.

There is hope. Jesus is the answer, but sometimes it takes someone who’s been there to deliver the message. Sometimes it takes someone who shares your same character defects to realize you are not alone in yours.

We all have been labeled in this life: Most likely to succeed, Class Clown, Most likely to screw it all up. The good news is we as Christians have the best label: Saved. I know that most secular 12 step groups are ever trying to squeeze God out, but God is the motivation behind those steps, and Jesus reached me through them.

So if you know someone still suffering from addiction, remember that there are Christians praying for them today. Praying for them to see the road signs, the steps, or maybe an ex-addict to help them find their way back to Jesus, their way back home.

Have you written your testimony?


Kat Heckenbach said...

I thank God you are willing to be transparent! I believe we Christians have to claim our pasts, and show others how God got us out. I too have a past with drugs--it didn't take me as far into the dark as it took you, and I was lucky to get out quickly. But it's there, undeniable. I've written about it in personal essays that will be published in Sunday School magazines, for the same reason you posted this article. I want people to see that the LIGHT can reach anywhere!

Love you, sister! Keep being a light in the darkness!

Lori Lundquist said...

KM - Thank you for your transparency! A full and loving heart shines through. And the timing fits b/c Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of Him who changes our hearts, pulls us out of mess, redeems us. A testimony to His grace and mercy is a perfect way to celebrate and grasp how much His being born into the flesh and all that He came to do means. God bless you, sister!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post. Your story amazes me and also inspires me.

I've never written my testimony, per se. . . but through my novels, bits of it leaks into the writing through my characters.

Love you, sister!

Brandon said...

I love your openness KM. It's a blessing. I found your testimony an encouragement...God is so patient with us.
I haven't written out my testimony, but like you, I feel its important to share the sins of my past with those who are going through those same struggles. People need to see that transparency, and a changed life brings hope to all.

Chris said...

Ditto with everything else said above me here. Your testimony is really inspiring.

Michelle Gregory said...

your story has me near tears. thank you for sharing. being transparent isn't easy, but God is always calling us to be truefaced.

KM Wilsher said...

You guys are the best brothers and sisters in Christ anyone could have :0) Thanks for your continued support!!!!

Kat Harris said...

If you have never seen the darkness, how would you know the Light?

That's my philosophy. To me, stories like yours are the most faith-affirming.

God bless!