Friday, December 4, 2009



"Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to go." John 21:18

My family has always been very involved in missions local and abroad, planting Churches, serving Jesus. As a child, on my way to the Indian Reservation with my family to spread the Word and give food and clothes, I would picture myself as an adult on the mission field in some role. However, to my shame, my teens and early twenties did not glorify Jesus. And in my mid-twenties, I went on a journey to study every religion I could find of to locate the Truth: Science of the mind, New ageism, Indian mysticism, Buddism, Hinduism and others, and thank the Lord Jesus Christ the search for the Truth led me home. The Truth was in my life all along – Jesus was always who He claimed to be: The Son of God – and I could finally see!

In my late twenties I began to serve Jesus with all my heart, and looking at the mission field again. At Metro Church in Denver, Colorado I became a fan of some missionaries to Russia and Portugal. But, I was sincerely touched by a woman who came to visit Lakewood Church of Christ who ran a Christian elementary school in India. It was small and poor, but attendance was coveted by the community due to the love of Christ Jesus.

I thought I had found my calling. In fact, I had to do a persuasive speech in my communications class at a secular college and I spoke about the Indian Christian School and my desire to go and teach/witness there. It was a secular school, but at the end of my presentation the students gave me money! I collected $30 to put toward what I would need to get to India. The professor said he’d never seen anything like it. The Spirit was moving beautifully and my life was good. Alas, that $30 still sits --as do I – stateside.

Funny how things work. . .I’ve heard it said, “We make plans and God laughs.” I don’t know about that, but I do know in my life I’ve made plans and He says, “Wait.” Not just mission plans, but ministry plans, family plans, writing, education and career plans too. And, He says, “Wait.” “Wait” is not the easiest thing to do.

I’ve said to my Lord for many years, “I’ll go anywhere you want me to go.” But I think I always meant “anywhere but here.” And, as I’ve stayed “here”, I have remained extremely faithful and in love with the Son of God. I will not leave Him ever again.

Like Peter said in John 6:68
“Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life.”
Yes, eternal life and ironically, the Truth for which I left Him to search for in my twenties.

I wondered if I was the only one who felt this way. Was I the only one God asked to stay put -- to “Wait.”

Sarah came to mind. God asked her to wait for His promises to be revealed and fulfilled. Wait well into her elder years. I have a very strong bond with Abraham’s wife. I know we are very different. She was very beautiful; she was a wife, and the mother of many nations. I am pretty frumpy, single, and the mother of none, and yet I feel we are united.

That bond developed while I was reading the book: SARAH: Book One of the Canaan Trilogy by Marek Halter. It’s a good book. I read it a couple of years ago. And page after page I found myself saying, “Hang on Sarah. Don’t fret. Don’t give up hope. I know the end of the story.” I found myself wanting to step into her story and tell her what I know. A few months later as I was in despair, losing hope and laughing at the prospect that God had plans for me to prosper; I heard a distant voice saying, “Hang on, child. Don’t fret. Don’t give up hope. I know the end of the story.” Love, Sarah.

From my viewpoint it seems like all those around me have “go orders”. I have great respect for you all and admiration beyond belief. I feel so lucky God has placed you in my life. But, my question is; Has God asked you to wait?


Lori Lundquist said...

KM - What a beautiful and much needed, inspirational message... thank you! I'm traveling with My Daniel this week, and as we drove up toward the 2,000 mile mark this morning, I felt a wave of depression invade me. What have I REALLY done for the Lord? Have I been disobedient? What's my purpose?!?! Why haven't we had children? Why do we move all the time? Why? Why? I voiced some of my sorrows and my Daniel so sweetly said, "YET." I frowned. "Yet, what?" He said, "We don't have children... yet. We haven't been a place to stay put... yet." And so on. What an encouragement to me to read here your thoughts about waiting, that I'm not the only one, and that we can encourage each other by saying... like my fave quote in Gladiator... soon, but not yet. :-)
Love you, girl!

Kat Heckenbach said...

Hey, sister! You know I've been down some tunnels I couldn't see the end of until, well, the end! But once through, I turned and saw how it all made sense.

Believe me, I know how hard it is to wait! I'm still waiting--celebrating the little victories of short stories and such, but frustrated and discouraged at times over the lack of progress on getting my novel published.

The story that inspired me in the beginning of my writing, and still does, is that of Joseph. He was sold into slavery, imprisoned and forgotten. Yet, after twenty years he became Pharoah's right-hand man. It has taught me that the "wait" really means that God is giving us the tools we need--emotionally, physically, spiritually--so when our time comes we do it RIGHT!

You're gonna get there, KM, I know it!!!! You got what it takes!